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In this issue:
Have you ever met someone and just clicked with them straightaway?
It’s almost like you've known them forever and then you discover you have a lot in common, same star-sign or similar interests etc.? You know that feeling you get with some people that you enjoy their company, you get along?
That’s rapport.
Have you also ever met someone and taken an instant dislike to them or perhaps come to the conclusion pretty quickly that they are not your sort of people?
That’s the opposite of rapport.
Wouldn’t it be great to click with anybody, at anytime whenever you wanted to? Imagine being able to get those tricky people to feel that they’d clicked with you whenever you wanted them to feel that way.
That’s what this short e-course is all about. Of course, I can’tcover everything on e-mail, you’ll have to come along on one of our courses to get everything but I've put together as much useful information as I can so that you can take it away and put it to good use now.
The first secret of Getting Rapport With Anybody is to realise that building rapport is something you do all the time. What we are going to do over the next 5 parts is understand what we do unconsciously at the moment and learn how to use it consciously.
You are clicking or building rapport with some people all the time so you can already do it. All we need to do now is understand HOW you do it so that we can use it whenever we need to.
When two human beings meet each other they unconsciously and automatically begin a sniffing process - a bit like two dogs. What you sniff for is the answer to this question:
Do I like this person?
And the way you answer this question is by sniffing for the answer to a further question:
How is this person like me?
Why do we do this? Because the people that we like best are people who are like us - who share our values, our sense of humour, our way of seeing the world.
If I asked you to write a description of the people you admire the most and their values and beliefs, you would write me a description of yourself.
If I also asked you to describe what most annoyed you in others, you would most probably tell me what most annoys you about yourself.
(Stop. And do it now if you don’t believe me)
You see, we make sense of relationships by unconsciously seeking out people who are just like us.
Remember, Like Likes Like - we build the quickest and deepest rapport with people who are like us.
If the above is true, and it pretty much seems that way, then the number one rapport building skill is the ability to get people to like you.
Have you ever bought something from someone you didn’t like?Of course not; or at least not more than once!
And the skill of getting people to like you is the skill of showing people how much you are just like them or the skill of reassuring people that you are the same as them.
And the effect of this is that people will trust you, warm to you and then buy from you. They’ll also go and do what you want them to do etc.
So, how do you do this? How do you reassure people that you are the same as them so that they like you more?
It’s an easy process to describe and actually doing it will take some practice. Here it is:
Next time we’ll begin looking at these processes in detail starting with Speaking Their Language - how to speak for greatest influence.
Here’s a piece of homework to help you get the best out of this course.
Before Day 2 arrives, I’d like you to think about the people you really click with and
work out what it is that makes the relationship work.
Also think about those you don’t hit it off with (who you probably avoid)
What is it about you and them that means it doesn’t work?
Here’s what’s coming up:
That’s it for this time…
Do Mail us with your comments, questions, advice or requests for information.
Thanks!
Andrew
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